with Ilhwa Choe

I was born in a small town called Musan, which is bordered by China. Unlike other inland cities in North Korea, Musan is one of the richest counties because smuggling with China is one of the main things to do in ordinary life.

My parents had a strong belief in education. My mother helped me study because one of her biggest regrets was not pursuing her university degree. It was almost impossible for her to go to university because of her family background.

I liked learning new things at school, but most of the time, I felt burdened by all the requirements from the school and government. For instance, in school, the government required students to provide materials like scrap metal, dung, wood, etc. There was a quota, and if you didn’t meet it, you couldn’t attend most of the classes. Some teachers sent students home to bring back these materials instead of attending class. Many times I was sent back to collect these materials. I was very sad that I could not go to class during these times.

In school, they teach all subjects: math, science, language, Chinese, English, art, music, geography, and the history of Kim’s family (Kim Il-sung, Kim Jung-sook, Kim Jong-il). The history of Kim's family are three subjects that required memorization and oral tests during the midterm and final term exams. While I tried hard to memorize them, those three subjects were my least favorite. To me, they were science fiction stories.

There was a short period of time when I believed that North Korea was the best country in the world in terms of wealth and social care because this is what I was taught by the school. In one of my textbooks, South Korea was described as a poor country, and its children did not have the right to go to school, so we would have to save them for their own good. And we were taught that Americans were enemies of our country because they invaded the Korean Peninsula.

There were many reasons, but there were two main ones: looking for a better future and saving my family because there was no hope in North Korea when I was there.

When I was 14 years old, I decided to leave the country.

I crossed the Duman River with a border guard who was paid to do it as a side job.

All of my immediate family has been reunited in South Korea. But many of my other relatives still live in North Korea. The last time I talked to them was before COVID-19. When I first resettled in South Korea, I worked various jobs to save money to help my family leave North Korea and come to South Korea.

One of my favorite games was Nintendo Super Mario. I loved that game so much that I spent many hours playing it with friends and cousins when I was around elementary school age. Because of the lack of electricity, our time playing video games was limited. My friends and I had a big conversation about how we should invent more natural energy so that we could play video games whenever we wanted.

The place where I was born is not known for its food. What I mean by that is the terrain is rugged, but corn grows in abundance. Hot corn and cold noodles are very common in my hometown, Musan. Kimchi is an essential food for every household.

All Western and South Korean songs were not allowed to be played or listened to, but when I was at school, most of the students knew and liked to listen and watch them. Whenever close friends gathered, we would sing and dance to K-pop even though it was dangerous.

I live in Suwon, which is one hour away from Seoul. It is very different from my hometown in terms of land size, population, and infrastructure.

One thing I would like to emphasize is that ordinary North Koreans are looking forward to traveling to other countries and learning about new cultures. The North Korean government limits everything. They do not have the right to control the people just because the Kim family is in power.